In A Nutshell

As an ambitious 25 year old still figuring out parenting and my roll in the adult life I'm determined to get the most out of myself. Right now my main personal values are Challenge, Curiosity, Self-respect, and Belonging.

Every person has an inner voice telling them what they need, it says "wake up now" in the morning it says "don't eat that" when we're full. Growing up means learning that nobody can be that voice for you. You have to learn to hear it, and find the strength to listen over every other voice calling for your attention and telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing.

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

The Masterful Mess Of It All, When Is It Going To Come Together Already?

Truth is my life has felt much more like a master mess than a masterpiece lately. In October I left my husband with our two daughters and moved nine hours away to live near my Aunt and Uncle a while, 420 square feet, me, toddler & baby, oh boy.

Rewind five years, I'm surveying the wreckage of my freshly burned down family home and kids summer camp "The River" and feel compelled to scribble down those sorts of scribbles you know need to be written to find their expression in your heart.

August 2009
"So many memories I hardly know where to begin. The foundation we lay yesterday, the grounds we cultivated and subdued have today been taken over by creepers and overgrown with wild flowers. To you it is a pile of rubble, metal, and useless things, a nuisance. To me it is the graveyard of my home.

Where the campers slept, where they played, where they ate is occupied by ants, spiders, and centipedes. The rubble that has given birth to grass and weeds. Hours of frustration, weeks of work, years of planning and years to come of hope for future endeavors, this chalkboard was wiped clean that day, it's back to the drawing board now.

My old journals are gone, but I have new ones, a year and a half of new ones. I'm no longer dating Wade, I married him three months ago. Thinking about it, with all that has changed and disapeared, in it all I'm so glad Wade and I came through. 

"The River" chapter of my life is over, but the Wade chapter has just begun"

I went to school the day after the fire and realized, life continues. Another chapter closes, a new one begins. I'm now renting in a nice little house from my Uncle that has just been freshly renovated, have been accepted into a University are program to get a BA in fine art, My oldest is enrolled in preschool and the littlest at daycare so I have a few precious months left in which to spend at ease with loads of time in the day for my babes. 

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